Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

I have two sons that have blessed my life beyond words. They have become and are still becoming valiant men. They have loved me, inspired me to be a better person, and have taught me to live outside many of my silly restrictive boxes. (small ex. You can eat cereal in a tall glass using a long teaspoon, when all the bowls and regular spoons are dirty.)
I have a saying I picked up along the way as we raised these joyous blessings, ” You don’t raise children you raise adults.” Meaning somewhere along the parenting journey you have to let go, stop doing so many things for them or controlling their behavior and teach them to grow up, do things for themselves, make decisions,give them room to become themselves.

My youngest son is moving out today, I have loved this mothering journey with him and feel those bitter sweet moments this morning. He is so ready to be on his own, I believe with all my heart he will be a great success~~ Sweet. I will miss his everyday presence in our home ~~Bitter.

We have prepared our sons to live in their own homes pay their bills, cook, clean, tend a yard, we have provided love so that hopefully they know that when the world knocks you down, there are people that will help you up, cheer you on and give you a hand along the way.

It was all so much faster than I ever dreamed possible when I was just beginning this journey. Babies grow up at the speed of life.

My sons, men, brave, honorable, smart, funny, loving, adored by me, able, my heros.

I collect quotes, and found this one in my computer folder this morning titled boy quotes, I LOVE IT for this day.

“You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. If you treat them like sons, they’ll turn out to be heroes, even if it’s just in your own eyes.”(Walter Schirra, Sr.)

They are my HEROS,
Tanya

I often struggle with disappointment, no real reason it just seems to be the obstacle the enemy uses most on me to keep me from feeling JOY and gratitude.
I know this, but somehow there are days that it hits me in the heart, with out reason.

I often realize if I will be still and listen for a moment my heart will tell me that I have expectations about something. I have felt disappointment a lot this last year, I feel this sense of grief/loss, I know it us unwarranted, but I feel it. It is the same feelings I had when my baby left PDO, went to preschool and then to Kindergarten. Then again when Jr High started and now going on with life. Oh I know it is natural and I wouldn’t want it any other way, and I AM NOT disappointed in my children in ANY form. I believe the disappointment is in myself, have I become everything I was created to be? Am I ready for this next season of life? Was I a good mother~maybe~I expected to be better~no worse. Those that know me and have heard any of my testimony know I was terrified to have children in the first place,because I was convinced that I would be a horrible mother. We waited 8 years before Chris was born, with Bobby trying to convince me it would be okay. It has been more than okay it has been WONDERFUL,my two sons have touched my life and the relationship with them has healed me, taught me, encouraged me, and developed a very different woman than I every dreamed possible.

I heard this the other day on the radio;
Expectations- Reality= Dissappointment

What were my expectations?
My expectations were so much lower than they have been~reality. So the lie is that there is any disappointment at all only APPOINTMENTS with a future that is full of life with two young men and their families and I am still becoming all that I AM created to become, cause God ain’t finished with me yet.

I don’t know why disappointment is a struggle for me, I am still working that out. I know it is a lie, my heart is holding something is doesn’t need to hold onto. I read John Eldridges book a few years ago “Journey of Desire” and I often think back to his concept, that we long for Paradise and how we were created to live. Walking with God, hearing Him as clearly as I can the birds singing through my open window and that we will often feel the longing for something we can’t put words to nor fill with any other thing. We have to believe that we are created for life in a greater place and make the journey of desire, seeking God to fill every longing.

Expectations -Reality= Disappointment

The truth is written all through scripture we are aliens and strangers, this is not home. There will be no more tears,no sickness, no blindness, no separation. This life will be rattled with opportunities for disappointment to be felt, we are Expecting Paradise.

My Thanks x’s 10
1.The ability to have my car repaired
2. Getting the opportunity to go on a fire run with Chad and seeing the integrity of this young man as he speeds through the streets with siren and lights.
3. Another cool day with the windows open.
4. This dear retard computer is still working.
5. A warm shower everyday.
6. Dinner is already cooked in the fridge,yeah for crockpots.
7. A sweet friend and neighbor that is giving me a ride to get my car.
8.Because I had no car yesterday, my house is CLEAN.I love a clean house!
9. I get paid this week~for a great job carrying a phone.
10. God has plans for me.

Appointments
Tanya

As I was driving home earlier today I heard a lady share on the radio that she had started a ‘Thanks x’s 10 Blog’ to help her focus on the positive things in everyday. I think that is a good idea because some days I get distracted and forget ALL the blessings that surround me.

Here is my list of things I am thankful for today:
1. My children love me and tell me so.
2. I love my bed and sleeping.
3. Rainy stay at home days.
4. I love carrying a phone for my job.
5. I loved the phone call with good news from my youngest son.
6. Friends that I don’t talk to often still remember me and want to schedule lunch dates.
7. $10.00 off coupons for Bath and Body works, I got 5 of my favorite lotions for $22.00 because they had buy three get two free~~~ plus I had that great $10.00 off coupon they let me use as well. Yeah!
8.My sweet hubby loves me, and works hard for his family.
9. Flowers lots of summer flowers in hanging baskets.
10. Open windows and no airconditioner running.

I think this needs to be something I think about more often. How about you?

Thankful for so many things
Tanya